Puttin’ on the Fritz

John is the poet in the group. He uses light and darkness, images of vines and farmers, bread and wine. The last time Jesus is with his disciples before the cross has always boggled me. What is Judas doing there? Why hasn’t Jesus kicked him off the team for cheating? Jesus knows what’s up and let’s it happen. Not only is Judas there, he took the bread from Jesus. Jesus dips the bread into the wine and hands it to Judas in many ways sealing his future. He who takes the bread dipped in the cup will betray me! I’m allowing this guy to get as close as one can get to me without loving me. I’m letting him cling to the bread and wine without clinging to me the real bread and wine. He’s at the table with the Master but in his heart will betray the Master. I often wonder why Jesus allows hypocrites to stay in the church. I wonder why so many are so close yet so far away. It’s all over scripture from first to last. Sometimes the hypocrites are repentant, like Peter, sometimes they are not, like Judas. Where am I? I rejoice the older I get that Jesus not only “permits” me to the table, but died for me to come to the table. He doesn’t just “allow” me there, but desires me there. I am a hypocrite. The only difference I suppose between a Judas and a Peter is that one repents of their masks, the other doesn’t. He took the cup and gave it, saying, Drink, this is FOR YOU! He took the bread, saying, Eat, this is FOR YOU! I won’t drink the cup again till I drink WITH YOU in the New Heavens! He abstains till glory and we maintain this meal of glory. He took the cup…he took the bread…

I can’t help but keep reading the gospel accounts of Jesus. I am always amazed how the crowd, what others thought of him, the fear of man had NO impact on him whatever. And, he always seemed to take it from the right - the religious right. When he did have problems with the left it was usually their intelligence or power that got in the way - they didn’t believe in miracles, the resurrection, and such - they were too smart for Jesus. Or, their lust for power and unwillingness to see it topple prevented them from knowing him. I see this all the time. Guys who are too cool for Jesus, too staked down to too much at stake. But, it’s the right that he really offended. Their hatred grew with every miracle, every conversion, every move he made to the point that they could only remove him rather than having repenting and having their guilt removed. They were trying to be good but saw real goodness in Jesus. They were trying to be righteous but saw real righteousness in Jesus. They were threatened. And, so am I. I am too clean and religious to do any good. How many “sinners” love to come to my house or have me at their house? My hope is that Jesus will keep offending me, keep pressing the buttons, keep killing the old, religious, look good on the outside me and renewing the Jesus in me. 

Last night the seed of Grace and Peace Presbyterian gathered for the first time for an informational meeting. We heard from Brian about vision and plans. Maybe the best information though was gathering around cookies and coffee with like-hearted people and SINGING the songs that gathered believers have sung for years. It was good for the soul to sing to the Lord. The biggest challenge of being in Bowling Green so far has been not “having a church” to worship with on a regular basis. God has driven it home to all of us what a gift the local, gathered body of messed up saints are to us. We have missed friends, brothers and sisters whose faithfulness was an encouragement. We have missed singing and eating, serving and working.  I read Psalm 84 this moring. The Psalmist cries out , yearns, faints to be with God’s people to worship God. He goes as far to say that he would rather spend one day in corporate worship meeting with God than a thousand elsewhere. He would “rather be a bellboy in the house of God than own the mansions of the wicked.” That’s a far cry from my lazy attitude that sometimes gets tired of the saints, would rather sleep in, or is more excited about the upcoming football game.  I have had several friends in the past say that they found “fishing” to be a worshipful experience in place of corporate worship. They “find God in nature” and don’t need the assembly. I understand the benefits of fishing and hiking, but God isn’t there like he is in corporate worship. He’s there, but regardless of great reasoning, it’s not the same. Why? Newton (my four year old) helped me with this. We were sitting in my office with a space heater going. He asked what would happen if we put it outside (it was snowing). I said, “That’s a good question. I guess it would heat a small area, but really wouldn’t do anything. It needs this closed space.” That may be a poor analogy but it seems to get at something. God explains over and over in His word the benefit of that gathered saints. They feel the heat of the gospel through one another, through the preached word, the Lord’s supper in a way that won’t work “in nature.” As we gathered last night, I was reminded of how warm it is in the “courts of the Lord,” how good it is to dwell with God’s people in God’s dwelling-place.    

Recently I visited the Mecca that is Opry Mills. I don’t know the stats and demographics but it is a large and bustling mall. Most would salivate to visit this mall. It has everything under one roof: Sax 5th Ave., Gap, Aeropostale, Bed Bath and Beyond, Bass, Rain Forest Cafe and my favorite, the Bass Pro Shop. Over the past two years I had collected 230$ worth of Bass Pro gift cards (in what has been my greatest act of self-control to date, I might add). Here is the greatest part: I was all by myself at Bass Pro - no kids! I was picking up two of my girls and had a couple hours to spare. This gave me much leisure in deciding how I would spend my 230$. After some time I finally decided I would buy a Leupold scope for my rifle. It is guaranteed for life - no questions asked. With two boys I am discipling in the outdoor arts I know it will come in handy. At the end of my Bass Pro Odyssey I found myself with about ten minutes to spare. I remembered I had to go to the Nike store and look for Aimee some of her favorite running shorts. This meant an end to my shopping fantasy and entrance into the shopping reality of walking through the Mall during after Christmas sales on a Saturday. Off I walked - into the panic of moving feet and the bizarre of vendors selling their wares. This is not my cup of tea. After 30 seconds I was edgy. Why don’t these people learn to walk! No, I don’t want any lotion (though the massage looks nice). Why do so many people drink Starbucks? Quickly my edginess became anger and self-righteousness. My, we are a culture of addiction. Look at how many people are still in line for Starbucks! Stop trying to consume me and my money - I am a person! After all, I’ve read books on why this is idolatry. By the time I returned from the Nike store and made my way back to Bass Pro, picked up my gun with my freshly mounted Leupold scope, the Spirit was coming. I sat outside on a fake rock waiting for my girls and the Lord spoke. He said something to the affect of, “Fritz, you sure are mean. Why don’t you love those people? Aren’t you here for the world? Isn’t that your job and the reason you replanted to another community? I smell hypocrisy.” Then, He spoke in a softer voice, “Why are you here? Because someone loved you enough to give you a bunch of gift cards (churches, family, former students) and you got a great scope for nothing but a lot of love! And, the woman dropping your kids off, who loves them, love your wife and your family, is one whom I have my eye on. I have brought her in relation to you and this is a great blessing.”  A peer of mine and one whom I respect in ministry pointed out the other day that his church exists because of Psalm 87. Naturally, I hurried to look it up.  God says, “I will record Rahab and Babylon among those who acknowledge me- Philistia too, and Tyre, along with Cush- and will say, ‘This one was born in Zion.’” Wow! The mall was full of Cush and Rahab. The question is, do I care that they are recorded? Who am I anyway, but a regenerated Cushite! Thanks be to God. 

This is a combination of thoughts with little thematic thread. I was in the bank recently and wished one of the tellers a Merry Christmas. She said thanks but she didn’t celebrate Christmas. I asked if she were Muslim and she said no, she was of another religious persuasion. “We don’t celebrate Christmas because it’s not in the Bible,” she explained. I asked (liking my logic) if she celebrated birthdays without scriptural warrant (I thought I had her!). “No, we don’t do that either,” she replied. I (very respectfully) told her any religion (even Christian) that doesn’t celebrate is suspect in my book. I’m sure her religion makes up for this deficiency somewhere. They probably have many potlucks (are those in the Bible?). They have to celebrate simply because God’s image will not stay bound up forever. It will break free through some crack or crevice. At our home it takes us a week or two just to celebrate birthdays. Mostly because we’re behind the eight-ball on getting to things and we stretch them out with gift-giving, cake, friends over, dinner out with Dad,  all at different times. I can’t imagine telling my children, “No, sorry, but there will be no feast of weeks this year. We love you but we won’t celebrate God’s gift of you to us. We won’t lavish you with gifts because God never does that…” Sorry - I would get fired as a Dad in my home.  Do you ever feel guilty celebrating? I know we can “overdo” it, miss the point, get lost in the busyness, and all that. But, do you remember as a kid being torn over “remember the reason for the season” and “when can I open my gifts?” Do you remember feeling guilty because you couldn’t strum up long enough thoughts of Jesus being born in a manger because you were too busy wondering if you were getting a bike or a skateboard? Do you remember questioning why your parents told you to not get too caught up in the commercialism of the season but they seemed to be? Why is it my fondest memories of Christmas are not even the great gifts I received, but my Dad sitting in his recliner with his hands folded over his stomach, grinning from ear to ear. Surely he wasn’t grinning because of the 80th pair of socks he was receiving! This Christmas I am looking forward to receiving gifts - I’m excited about what my wife and kids have put time, research, thought, travel, money, corporate wisdom and the like into because they love me. And, I’m equally excited to put time, research, thought, travel, money and wisdom into their gifts and cannot wait to see their expressions of joy and appreciation as they open their gifts. Why in the —- should I feel guilty about that! Do I even need to quote chapter and verse? It is the very heart of our Father and the heart of the gospel. Even now our Father delights to give good gifts to His children, he is preparing a place for us, He lavishes on us a spiritual inheritance. Yes - stay away from commercial Christmas, don’t horde or be greedy, serve the poor, give generously, but CELEBRATE! ENJOY! It’s really o.k., I think!  

Every morning or so Newton (our 4 year old) hops on my lap and we snuggle while singing a local, family diddy about snuggling. This morning he let me in on his Christmas Philosophy. He told me all the things he wanted: a four-wheeler, a skateboard, legos, and more. Then, he told me how he was going to get it. “Aunts, uncles, cousins, you and Mommy, you can all get it for me.” I pictured this family gathering with the sole intent on planning how we as a family can muster all our resources and give him all the gifts he wanted. Newton isn’t far from the truth of what we have now in Christ and what we will be and have with Christ. Ephesians 1 explodes our limited view of God’s grace by showing all that we have in Christ - a spiritual inheritance loaded with words like “lavish, exceeding, riches…” And, that is just the present.

I have become a big fan of the Avett Brothers. In one of their songs they sing of a lover trying to win back his beloved. Toward the end of the song you hear the beloved echo her willingess to return (it’s a little garbled, but I think that’s what it’s saying). Then, the lover returns with, “If it’s the beaches, the beaches sands you want, then you will have them. If it’s the mountains bending rivers, you will have them.” I pause everytime I hear this and think of the great promise of our Lover that we are not only an inheritance to be gifted to the Father, but the promise of an inheritance Jesus is preparing for us now. Not only do we get spiritual realities we can’t comprehend, forgiveness, righteousness, communion with God, but it will all play out in a big, fat, beautiful, new earth. I’ve always thought of us “going up to heaven” but when Jesus returns He promises to bring Heaven to Earth and redeem all that exists between those poles. Does Newton like Skateboards? Whose to say he won’t have one? Do I like bending rivers? He will grant them. Much to ponder and (like the Earth itself in Rom. much for which to groan.

I know it’s almost Thanksgiving and right around the corner is Christmas, but I can’t get the Resurrection off my mind. Of all the passages concerning Jesus rising from the dead Luke’s account has always caught my attention least. Is that o.k. to say? It’s just that it’s a little more of a dialogue and less of a story even though it’s a story. It’s why I have a hard time reading Pride and Prejudice, there is so much conversastion to follow. After step three in the directions I’m out!

I made myself read it, though, because I had finally made it through the rest of Luke. (It took three months.) Luke ironically is my favorite gospel so I find myself drawn back to it’s stories. Stories of Jesus loving the broken, mininstering to the down and out, the rejects. Zaccheus is there and so is the parable of the Lost Brothers. The Sinful woman and the Bleeding woman. Jesus’ teaching on prayer and God’s enjoyment of giving His Spirit like a Daddy at Christmas. So, here I was again at Luke’s account of the ressurection. I had to read it or I’d feel guilty for a week. I couldn’t get to the last chapter and skip it!

Did you ever notice that Jesus is a bit illusive? He’s here and there, shows up and disappears. He is hard to recognize. As a matter of fact, the only time He makes himself known is when folks are discussing him or when there is food involved. Where two or three are gathered, especially over food! So, I guess Thanksgiving does apply here. Why did He appear only to flee the scene? Why did He not hang out more post-resurrection? Why did He ascend so quickly? Luke doesn’t say. He only leaves us with a sweet taste in our mouths, but, wanting more. I am so much like those disciples, I want more, need more. I treat Jesus as if He is a ghost, worry about many things and doubt. I am glad He is with the Father and still shows up today. I am glad for the “fellowship of the Holy Spirit” and for the “fellowship of the believers.” I am looking forward to His Return.

After years of Halloween being Taboo in my religious upbringing, after the guilt of experiencing the freedom of going door to door and asking for candy, I am convinced Halloween may be the most Christian Holiday of all. It’s historic roots are certainly more Christian than not (see: http://www.ransomfellowship.org/). It’s practice is certainly Christian. When else do all your neighbors get away from their TV’s and stand outside talking and laughing? It’s Hospitality in the Christian sense - not Holiday Inn’s and having over friends, but having absolute strangers come to your door and receive something. At the heart of Halloween is giving and receiving. To compound the proof, this year we Trick or Treated for the first time in Bowling Green. We live in a rental on what used to be the premiere city street and neighborhood. It still has flashes of beauty mingled with rentals and widows homes in need of repair. But, it is certainly middle to upper class. What we witnessed this year was different from any other. In the past we had trickles of folks come by. Our kids recieved loads of candy because of scant trick-or-treaters. This year we were overwhelmed by the vast number of kids who came to our door. We heard that they were “bussed in.” Cars lined the curb. Spider-men and pirates everwhere. One scraggly fellow pulled up in his beat-up chevy to my curb. He could tell I was a bit apprehensive. He called out, “I’m your garbage man! I haven’t been here for a while, I have to take a class. I kinda got in trouble. I’ll be back in a month. Mind if I park here?”

Over 350 children came to my door and very few were from our neighborhood. They were all from the “other side of town” or from within the city. The lesser haves were coming to my door and asking for handouts. We were so overrun by kids we went back to the store twice, rationed candy, and still were empty before the festivities were over. My neighbor who publishes his money tightness said he was done after 7 bags of candy. We went through 10 and it still wasn’t enough.

Later that night my wife and I were discussing the evening. We wondered aloud, “What if next year we buy 300$ worth of candy and give so much good candy (not Now or Laters and cheap Bubble-gum) but real chocalate goodies or even gourmet. What if we were known for large quantities and good stuff? What if there was such a buzz that folks lined up at our house because they knew they would rack up? What if we included a hay-ride? Giveaways?

Christine Pohl says in her book, Making Room-Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition, “Hospitality (in the early church) meant extending to strangers a quality of kindness usually reserved for friends and family.” Jesus said, “When you give a feast, invite the pooor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed because they cannot repay you.” Jerry Seinfield explains that if all you have to do to get candy is dress up, then “he’s in!”

All we have to do is give away candy? People will line up at our doors? Makes me want to spend another year contemplating creative ways to give candy next year for this all Hallowed Eve!

I realize how much I stink at fixing things. Right now I have a list that includes a toilet whose lid needs tightening, a window that won’t stay up, a mower with a bad wheel and various other small, broken objects. Being in a rental I have absolved myself from doing much if not all that sort of work. After 8 years in two fixer-upers I’m tired of fixing thing. Besides, I stink at it. Remnants of a bruise from a failed lantern fix remain on my right thumb as I type.

My home is broken and so is my neighborhood. Just yesterday the boys and I got chewed out by a scared lady for throwing the ball with Dover in what must have been her pond. I thought it was a city pond of sorts. She quickly let me know it was hers though it was not marked. She was viciously mad. On the way home we met a golden retreiver that Dover humped and wrestled in the middle of my very busy street intersection, all the while Newton is trying to cross the street on his bike, a crazy guy a few doors down is pacing his driveway, a jogger concerned about his health watches me as I frantically try to separate the dog, grab my child and establish peace in my version of the Middle East. Another guy on the corner simply disappears out of view when he sees my distress. Finally, in great anger, I stepped in the middle of the road, stopped oncoming traffic and let my son cross. I separated the dogs, gave the Golden to the pacing neighbor and I grabbed my dog and went home. At that moment I was ready to Jonah-like jump off the ship rather than care that any of these “nice, suburban” people meet Jesus. I was thinking the opposite at that moment. I wanted to further break my broken neighborhood. I was viciously mad.

It took about a day or so for God to get through to me, but He did. He reminded me of how broken I am, how screwed up, how in need of the gift of the gospel, how good He is and how much He has done. And, He reminded me that He has big plans for me, my neighbors, and this earth. He is fixing and will fix what is broken. Now, it’s time for me to apologize to a neighbor or two.

I said I wouldn’t preach but I also said I wanted to document. This is a documentation of my latest wrestling. Does God really forgive sins? Jesus says that all of our sins and blasphemies can be forgiven. David says in Psalm 32 that all our “sin” and “sins” are forgiven. That’s big. My very nature is forgiven! My disposition is forgiven! My demeanor is forgiven! My behavior, my attitude, my acts, my personality, my idolatry - all of it! And, the best part is this is true for me as a Christian. I got this as a non-Christian wanting entrance into the kingdom, but not as a Chrisitian. Thoughts overwhelm my mind - how could I do this, be like this, think this, feel this, want this - if I am a Christian? How could I be blessed? How can the love of God “surround me?” But, the fact is - IT DOES! He does - the cross makes it possible and absolute. God loves sinners. God loves me with all my junk. How can I not confess?